Let me go ahead and start this off with saying that I hate the term “working mom,” because I believe even stay-at-home-moms are also WORKING moms. Mom-life ain’t easy and whichever path you choose; you are going to be putting in work.
What I also know, is that while “working-mom-hard” and “stay-at-home-mom-hard” may be equal, they are also very different.
They experience a different kind of mom-guilt.
It’s a different kind of stress.
A different kind of tired.
So today, I want to talk to the “working mom” that is both a mom and also running a business...
Because, you see, not only am I in that category now, so I feel like I get her. But I was also raised by her. I saw her sweat the sweat, and I saw her cry the tears. I might have even seen her shed the blood on a few occasions.
And now as I walk a mile in her stiletto’s, and find myself reliving all her blood, sweat, and tears on my own journey as a working-mom, I wanted to take this Mother’s Day weekend as an opportunity to share 3 of the most profound lessons my mom passed on to me…
Lesson 1: I Can Have It All
I know for a fact that we, women, can really have it all. Not because my mama told me so, but because she showed me so. I watched her do it. I watched her build an empire out of thin air. I watched her have a beautiful marriage and loving relationship with my dad. I watched her be there for me and my brother whenever we needed her most.
I watched her buy the house, hire the trainer, get the TV recognition, do the charity, and accomplish literally everything she wanted. And it’s because she did it herself, that I know with complete confidence and clarity that it’s possible for me.
Which leads me to lesson two…
Lesson 2: It’s Okay to Not Know the Answers
The irony of my confidence and clarity being grounded in the fact that I had this amazing powerhouse of a working-mom for living-proof is, somehow, she managed to pave the way despite not having the living-proof herself. Perhaps, the next greatest lesson she taught me through leading by example is that you might not have the answers to getting what it is you want, but if you have the conviction, you can figure anything out.
One of my absolute favorite quotes of my mom’s that she’s shared with me countless times is that “sometimes you just need to jump and build your wings on the way down.” And without a doubt I am the woman I am because of this belief that if we want something bad enough, it CAN be figured out, one step at a time.
So that brings us to lesson number three.
Lesson 3: Your Action Speaks Louder than Any of Your Words
We used to have this phrase in our house that, “your actions speak so loud, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.” And those words really hit hard, every time. It’s not enough having big ambitions. It’s not enough believing in yourself. It’s not enough being willing to take the risk. It has to actually be done.
Often times, we are searching for the confidence to take action. But my mom always said, “confidence doesn’t come first, Briana. Confidence is just a consequence of first having the COURAGE.” And as I watched my own mom time and time again step out on faith, betting on herself, and putting in the WORK, I learned that I can do the same, if I’m willing to find the courage to do so.
So thank you, mom, and all the working-moms.
Because I, of all people, get it now. I finally understand the impossible expectations you feel to mother like you have no job, yet work like you have no child.
I finally understand that guilt when your kids cupcakes are store-bought instead of homemade and hand decorated.
I finally know that level of tired when you book the latest flight out and the earliest flight home after long-working hours just so you can be there.
And I finally realize just how hard we are on ourselves…
Only to look back up to my mom feeling nothing but utter gratitude that she did it all.
Only to say that the store-bought cupcakes were actually better than the homemade ones anyway.
That I am grateful I had her to pave the way and show me how it’s done. Because of you I am a strong and ambitious working mother that prays to be just half as great at it as you.
Happy Mother’s Day. Share with us your greatest lessons from your mom in the comments.